Hi Everyone, apologies for my lack of activity. I had quite the week last week.
It was spent getting my first round of scans post treatment. Two separate MRIs of my head, a CT scan of my pancreas and a PET scan over the course of Sunday through Tuesday. During every scan, I repeated in my head “this will show improvement” the entire time. I sang that phrase along with the banging of the MRIs and just repeated it over and over again during the four hours of PET and CT scans. I knew Dave was struggling, I just wanted to make sure! My appointment wasn’t scheduled until Friday to review the results, so you can imagine that the days leading up to it gave me a little anxiety. Every little feeling in my body was taking me to thoughts of possibly further metastasis, in particular to my liver and bowel and possible advancement in my pancreas. I tried to stop those thoughts, spent a lot of time praying and discussed everything with my family, Kyle and friends.
That certainly doesn’t sound like positivity does it??
I tried my hardest to switch this around by using some of my handy dandy medical knowledge. I told myself that any possible spread of the cancer could be handled surgically. Fun fact that I learned in nursing school: the liver can regenerate itself into a full liver even after removing 75% of it! The spot on my pancreas was what was worrying me the most. The tumor there was not primary pancreatic cancer; it was also rhabdomyosarcoma cells, but still. You don’t want to mess with the pancreas. To top it off, all week I had a pain in the upper left quadrant of my belly which I can now chalk to a pulled muscle :). My Mom has said from the beginning “whatever it is or whatever happens we will deal with it.” I channeled that, got my boosts from my all my #teamkate supporters and tried to relax with a little meditation (highly recommended).
The appointment on Friday was at 2:45 pm and I woke up in a bad mood. I tried to switch that around really fast, only positivity allowed! My brother Jake decided to come home from the beach early with his family to be present for the results. As my mom and I got in the cab I realized I had forgotten my cell phone… great, now I couldn’t distract myself. In the end, it was perfect. All I could do was channel positive thoughts. They called us in and the doctor gave a big wave to us from his office as we walked, which made my heart skip. Good news? A fellow was sent in first who asked how I was feeling. Then said something along the lines of “oh and your scan results are great!” Well ya can’t just say that and not explain, guy! So we pressed him for info which he said my doctor would explain further. So in he comes and delivers the most MIRACULOUS news in the world. He explained that the PET scan from Tuesday shows NO ACTIVE CANCER in my body… ANYWHERE. The spots on my spine, hips and pancreas have essentially gone away. The primary tumor, our good friend DAVE, also showed no active malignancy. He is a shriveled up prune, a lifeless loser. We all burst out crying/ laughing/ asking confused questions. I can imagine we looked like a group of hyenas. The doctor explained that this was the “best result we could have hoped for” and that the treatment plan remains the same. We must get every single cancer cell. Please refer to the “bear” story from my first post. We will continue to hammer Dave and his friends until every hidden tiny hint of cancer is GONE.
Back to that news… NO ACTIVE MALIGNANCY. How could this be? How is that even possible? After the initial shock of hearing this amazing news semi wore off. I looked at him and said “this is because of everything, the positivity and prayers not just the chemo.” He said he was sure it was also. I had had an MRI of my back after the first round of treatment because it had been hurting and it showed that the tumors on my spine were “stable” from the first PET scan. So somehow in that time in between, it went away. I am 100% positive, sure with every bit of me that it is because of the prayers, love, positivity and support that I have received from everyone. There really is no other explanation. It is because of the people in my life, and some that I don’t know, that I am alive and kicking Dave’s ASS!
Dream Team celebrating on Friday with an awesome dinner!
Dave can’t stop us from going to our friends’ wedding damn it!
My amazing friends Dave and Alli made a donation to Cycle for Survival. It is an indoor spin event that raises money for rare underfunded cancers which includes Rhabdomyosarcoma. I can cry just thinking about it. Love you guys!